Zug mail disaster, the never ending junk mail. Other than that

I am desperate indeed. Honestly I do not know how to go about this. I just do not want all this Zug junk mail in my mailbox. As you can see below, I put the stickers (TWO OF THEM) that clearly and politely say that I am not interested in all these brochures, ads and newspapers. OK mine are not as elegant as the guy’s next door, but even himself, with this beautiful and luscious sign, he still gets the junk.

What is your problem with Zug mail, dude?

– Although I should not have to be apologetic for my likes and dislikes, I will do it this time. First they are in German, which I do not speak yet, and second I get my fair share of online ads, where I do most of my shopping.
– Of course the biggest problem is the disposal of all this junk. I have to take it out, wrap it with some string and recycle it. At the special day and time. One extra task on my to-do list.
– FOR NO REASON. I never look at it. Any of it. Never.
– I have to go through all this paper trash in order to take out the bills, since they also put them in the letter compartment.
– I am scared to leave for a whole week because my mailboxes might overflow and then the good mail, meaning the bills (yes, very good mail) will be lost within all this junk.
– It is anti-environmental. If all these companies are trying to convince us that they care for sustainability and the environment, why are they still doing this?!?!?! Aren’t they already spending enough on digital marketing?

It is beyond me how this system works. The guy comes and sees that I have not touched what he put in my box last week and the week before and the week before that or ever. What does he do? He puts some more in my box! And when the big box is full, he sticks them into the letter compartment.

First of all who is this guy? Is it the post man? Or is it a company that distributes all this junk? Is it dedicated staff from each one of these advertisers? Who are you?

I have to admit that I already admire you for your persistence and dedication to your task. No matter what you face in front of you, stickers or not, full mailboxes or not, you stick them in. I also congratulate you for being resourceful. One box is full? You stick it to the one above. Is that full too? Then you leave them on top or at the bottom. I also have to admit that I am a little scared of you. You seem like somebody that stops at nothing. If ever everything is full with newspapers and leaflets, what will you do? Come upstairs and leave them at my door? Fly them with a drone to my balcony? Are you the next Netflix horror series, the first ever Switzerland production?

Listen. Let’s go for a coffee. Let’s talk. I will listen to you. With patience, with love. And I hope you will listen to me too. I can explain. Maybe I touch your heart somehow and you stop doing this. Seriously why are you doing this?

I have thought of a couple of scenarios why this is happening with Zug mail.

– They believe that at some point they will crack me. They will win and finally I will take these newspapers and leaflets upstairs and study them. Let me eliminate this cliffhanger for you. NO CHANCE.

– It is a huge conspiracy. And this is how it works. They create all this paper trash. Then I have to recycle it, so the recycle system gets its fair share of employment and funding. Or they hope that I will put them in the blue bags, which come at a cost, so another way for the economy to keep going.

– A very bad marketeer told them that this is still the marketing activity with the best Return On Investment and they should still spend millions on littering mailboxes. I suppose this study came from the people involved and earning money from this Zug mail activity. I am a marketeer and I can tell you should take that money and put it on TV or mobile or instore discounts. Or if you are a newspaper, improve your website and mobile app.

– They still live a couple of decades back and they want to take us all back there. Forget the internet and mobile advertising. Let’s go back to paper. They are emotionally attached to that period where the milkman was bringing the milk, we used to take polaroid photos (ok we still do that for the fun of it) or we were recording mixtapes for our Walkman. In the era of Shazam and Airbnb, is it still necessary to bald forests in Sweden? Again, for nothing.

– Finally I thought that it might be a canton requirement. If you are going to live in Zug, you have host, embrace, welcome, read, use, share, promote all this Zug mail paper advertising. It is one of life’s mandates. Like taxes or death. Don’t fight it, dude. Really, I should give up?