There is something about Zug. Zug is special. Zug has stories. Everyday stories. Unbelievable stories. Weird stories. Controversial stories. Lots of Zug stories. So let’s play a game with all these Zug stories. I will give you stories. Some are real. Some are not. Can you guess it right? Monday to Friday, on my Instagram account, I will reveal which ones are true and which are not. Let’s go!
Loud screaming in the Old Town!
It is Wednesday night. It is a rather warm night. Beginning of summer. This summer. A middle aged couple is enjoying a good bottle of wine at a popular wine bar in the Old Town. To be more accurate, a few good bottles of wine. The bar eventually closes. It is a school night. The couple stays outside at the tables on the square. And soon enough they get busy. I mean down and dirty busy. All the way. Like she is on her back on the wooden table, legs in the air and moaning like there is no tomorrow. And he is going to town full speed! Yes, they are doing it. In public. Just after midnight. People pass by. The couple in action do not care. And yes, we know who they are.
Drive for your love life
Guy moves here recently and rents an AirbnB for his first househunting day in the city. He stays at a huge, luxury penthouse on Bellevueweg. The hosts, expats in their early 30s, are middle-management at two different big Pharma companies. Their bachelor pad has it all: the 180 degrees view on the lake, the jacuzzi, the contemporary art in the living room. One host is away on business, the other one welcomes the guest around 9pm. The following dialogue takes place:
Host: Where did you park?
Guest: I came by taxi from the train station. I do not have a car anyway.
Host: You do not have a car now. When you move here, you will get one, right?
Guest: Nope. I am not getting a car, I do not need it.
Host: You’ll never get laid.
Guest: Pardon me?
Host: Without a car, you will never get laid in Zug. You will never score. Period. No chick will look at you in Zug and Zurich without fancy wheels.
Guest: Right. What do you drive?
Host: A Cayenne and my roommate a Gallardo 5.0. It is a Lamborghini…
Walk for your love life
It’s not what you think. But actually it is what you think. But you cannot prove it. Let me be more specific. Lately there is an imposing female presence walking up and down the main streets of Zug. Both of them. 😂 She is dressed rather provocative. OK, very provocative. She is a breath of fresh air, a splash of color and hotness, just after lunchtime downtown Zug. The cleavage is deep, the skirt is short and the heels are high. And she is just walking the busy streets of Zug city. You can’t miss her. Even the police has noticed her. They stopped her a couple of times with the suspicion that she was after some illegal activity (the kind that no receipt is given), maybe seeking the temporary friendship of rich Zug businessmen (like the rich Zug businessmen would do anything like that ever… in public). But the police could not prove anything, so the impressive voluptuous lady was left in peace wandering the 6300 zip code. A friend of mine, who is an amateur but talented investigator, told me that she found her online at one of those sites that rich Zug businessmen do use in the privacy of their own premises or that of the Zug hotels.
No, they do not steal in Zug
I have a friend, who has a friend, who has this friend, who has a boyfriend that works for a popular café in town. Her boyfriend told her and then she told that friend who is the friend of my friend, that the most unbelievable items have been returned to the café staff. Meaning that people found stuff abandoned there and they did not steal/keep them, but they returned it. Here is the list of the most intriguing:
– laptops with their chargers!
– earpods with their cases!
– Apple pencils
– Mobiles, from chinese to iPhones
– designer bags
– wallets full of money
– expensive scarfs
Yes, they steal in Zug
A couple of years back, during the Zuger Seefest, somebody stole one of the boxes with money from the food and beverage sales. There are two theories around this unfortunate event. The first one is that there is God. A superior power that regulates things from up there and different nations call him/her with different names. God or Allah or Marilyn or Elvis (whichever your belief system) rewards the good and punishes the bad. Not always, given that he/she is very busy with 7 billion on earth, but most of the time. This is the first theory. The second theory around this theft was that the thief was plainly stupid. I am not here to judge, but even my own generosity of spirit has its limits. So the organizing team realized fast that the box was missing and they screened the greater area of the event, looking for the thief. And they did well. Quite well. They did not catch the thief, but they found the box. All the coins from the sales were missing. But not the banknotes under the top compartment with the coins. So the thief ran away with very heavy pockets full of funfies at best, while leaving behind more than 6,000CHF in paper banknotes…
The photo at the top for the Zug stories is from heda_zug.